Sleeping Through the Sermon

贪睡的教徒

By John Fontaine ■郝前景 选注

William was pastor of a small church in a rural community.1 Wilbur and his wife, Leah, attended every Sunday morning. Wilbur was a farmer, and whenever he came into the house from the field and sat down, he would fall asleep. It was such a habit that when he came into church and sat in the pew2 he would also soon fall asleep. William discovered that some of the members of the church were taking bets to see how long he could keep Wilbur awake on Sunday mornings.3

Wilbur's wife was embarrassed by his behavior, especially when he began to snore.4 She tried everything to keep her sleepy spouse awake.5 She complained to him that she was gettinag calluses on her elbow from poking him in the ribs in a futile attempt to keep him alert.6 One day while shopping in the grocery store, she saw a small bottle of Limburger cheese.7 Leah bought it and dropped it in her purse.8

The next Sunday morning William had just started the sermon when Wilbur began to nod.9 When William finished the first point in his three-point sermon, he could see he was losing Wilbur.10 As William started the third point, Wilbur began to snore. Quietly, Leah opened her purse, took out the bottle of Limburger cheese and held it under her husband's nose. It worked. Wilbur sat up straight and, in a voice that could be heard all over the church, said, "Leah, will you please keep your feet on your own side of the bed!"

1. 威廉是一个乡村社区小教堂的牧师。pastor/#p4:st2(r)/: （基督教的）本堂牧师。
2. pew/pju:/: 教堂长椅。
3. 威廉发现有些教徒在打赌，看他每星期天早上能让威尔伯保持清醒多长时间。
4. snore: 打鼾，打瞌睡。
5. 她用尽了各种办法想让她那贪睡的老公保持清醒。spouse/sp4%z/: 配偶。
6. 她向他抱怨说自己为了让他保持清醒，老是徒劳无功地拿胳膊肘去捅他的胸口，害得胳膊肘都长茧子了。poke sb. in the ribs:（为引起对方注意用手指或肘部）触某人的肋骨。
7. Limburger cheese: 林堡软干酪（一种气味浓烈的干酪）。
8. purse:（手提或肩挂的）女用小包。
9. 下一个星期天的上午，威廉刚开始布道，威尔伯就开始打盹了。nod: 打瞌睡，打盹。
10.当威廉讲完了三段布道的第一段时，他发现威尔伯已经不再听他的了。