One day in the dead of winter, I looked out
my back window and saw a chicken. It was
jet-black with a crimson wattle, and it seemed unaware that it was in
New York City. In classic barnyard fashion, it was scratching, pecking
and clucking.
I shrugged off the apparition. Birds come and go. Usually they're pigeons,
not chickens, but like other birds, this one had wings and it would
probably use them. Or so I thought.
The protagonist of this story is known simply as the chicken. How it
came to a small backyard in Astoria, Queens, remains a matter of conjecture.
The chicken made its first appearance next door, at the home of a multitude
of cabdrivers from Bangladesh. My wife, Nancy, and I figured they had
bought the chicken and were fattening it for a feast. That hypothesis
fell into doubt when the chicken hopped the fence and began pacing the
perimeter of our yard with a proprietary air.
Eating it was out of the question. As a restaurant critic and an animal
lover, I subscribe to a policy of complete hypocrisy. Serve fish or
fowl to me, but don't ask me to watch the killing. Once I meet it, I
don't want to eat it.
Nancy and I next theorized that the chicken had escaped from a live-poultry
market about four blocks away and was on the run. Our hearts went out
to the brave little refugee. We had to save it.
Of course we knew nothing about raising chickens. For starters, we didn't
know whether our chicken was male or female. Moreover, what do chickens
eat?
A colleague put me in touch with a farmer, Steve Townley of Milford,
N.J. He poured balm over my many and various anxieties. "Chickens
will eat just about anything," he said. Cold would not kill them
off. "They just fluff their feathers," Townley told me. And
if there are no predators, there's really no need for a coop.
Chickens were beginning to sound like the ideal pet.
The chicken took to its new surroundings easily. Its main social task
was to integrate into the local cat society—a group of about five strays
we feed. How would the two species deal with each other?
One morning I looked out the window and saw four cats lined up at their
food bowls, and right in the middle, eating cat food with gusto, was
the chicken. Occasionally it would push a cat aside to get a better
position.
These cats, for their part, regarded the chicken warily. To a bird,
it was prey. But big prey. From time to time they would stalk, press
their bodies to the ground, swish their tails and give every sign of
going for the kill. Then they would register the chicken's size and
become gripped by second thoughts. A face-saving, halfhearted lunge
would follow.
The two sides soon achieved parity. Sometimes I'd look out back and
see a cat chasing the chicken. Ten minutes later I'd see the chicken
chasing a cat. I like to think they reached the plane of mutual respect.
Perhaps affection.
Although it was nice to know the chicken could eat anything, cat food
didn't seem right. When the petstore staff couldn't help, I did what
any mature adult male would do in a crisis. I called my mother.
Mom drove to the local feed store in La Porte, Texas, and picked up
a 25-pound bag of scratch grains, a blend of milo, corn and oats. She
began shipping the grain in installments. The chicken seemed to appreciate
the feed, and I certainly preferred seeing it eat grain, especially
after the grisly evening when I set out a treat for the cats—leftover
shreds of chicken—and saw the chicken happily join in.
Our care paid off. One morning, Nancy spied an egg on the patio. At
the base of the pine tree, where the chicken slept, was a nest containing
four more eggs. They were small, somewhere between ecru and beige, but
this was it. The blessed event.
Soon we could count on five or six eggs a week.After I wrote about the
chicken in the New York Times, my mailbag was bursting with letters
offering advice on the proper care and feeding of chickens. Disturbed
that she did not have a name, fans wrote with suggestions. Vivian had
a certain sultry appeal; Henrietta seemed cute. But Henny Penny?
The media jumped in. National Public Radio quizzed me about the chicken
for one of its weekend programs. "My producer wants to know, could
you hold the telephone up to the chicken so we can hear it?" the
interviewer asked. Unfortunately I don't have a 100-foot cord on my
telephone. The Associated Press sent a photographer to capture the chicken's
many moods. (She had two.)
Then one morning I looked out my kitchen window, and my heart stopped.
No chicken—not in my pine tree or the tree next door. Nor was she pecking
and scratching in any of the nearby yards. There were no signs of violence,
only a single black feather near the back door.
She was definitely missing. But why?
Spring was in the air. Could she be looking for love? Or perhaps she
was reacting badly to the burdens of celebrity? Or maybe she was simply
looking for a place to lay her eggs in peace.
Like Garbo retiring form motion pictures, she left at the height of
her popularity, well on her way to becoming the most photographed, most
talked about chicken of our time.
And I am left cherishing the memories. Nancy and I had grown to love
our chicken.
If anyone happens to see a fat black hen, tell her this for me: There's
a light in the window, and a warm nest at the base of the pine tree.