出版日期:2005年12月8日 发行期次:2005年第3期  总3期
 
 

“月上柳梢头,人约黄昏后。”,这是段多么浪漫的时光哪!可是该怎么邀请佳人呢?如果佳人不想赴约,却又不愿扫了男子汉的颜面,又该如何推辞呢?还有,如果有人问你"Are you free this evening?",这人是仅仅想知道你晚上有没有空还是另有所图?

别着急,咱们这次的话题就是怎么约人,应约或是拒绝。注意啦,当人家问你"Are you free this evening?" 的时候,隐含的意思就是想对你说:“我晚上想约你出来,你有没有空啊?”所以,如果你不想赴约,就千万不要说有空啊。要不然,愣愣生生地拒绝人家接下来的邀请,实在是伤了人家的自尊心哪。

接下来,让我们听一段PeteLinda之间的对话。Pete想约他的大学同学Linda去看电影《泰坦尼克号》。他有没有成功地约出Linda呢?


大家注意到了吗?Pete见到Linda之后并没有直截了当地提出邀请对方去看电影,而是通过四步走(打招呼——问对方是否有空——告知对方自己的安排——向对方发出邀请)才达到了自己的目的。猜猜看,Pete为什么要绕了这么个大弯子才发出邀请?

Peter doesn't make the invitation at the beginning because:
A
he suddenly remembers this in the middle of the conversation.
B he is afraid that he might be refused.
C he wants to firstly check if Linda is free to see the movie. If Linda isn't, he will invite someone else.
D by asking if she is free first, he is securing himself against the embarrassment of the possible refusal from Linda.

可见,邀约或是应邀的时候掌握适当的礼仪和话语技巧都是十分重要的。下面的一些小技巧可以帮助你把话说得漂漂亮亮的。

邀约场景小礼仪:

1
发出邀请之前先礼貌地问问对方有没有其他安排。省得到时候被拒,双方都觉得尴尬。
2
如果接受了人家的邀请,你应该流露出足够的向往之情。如果你拒绝了人家的邀请,则需要给出一个理由,即便这个理由仅仅是个善意的谎言(white lie)。
3
如果有人跟你说" Have you got any plans this weekend? "或是 " Are you free this Friday? " 的时候,他们的潜台词就是想邀请你。这时,如果你不想应邀,可千万别说" I haven't made any plans yet." 或者 " Yes, I'm free."之类的话给自己找麻烦了。因为接下来人家就要正式向你发出邀请了,那时你说什么推辞的话可就都别扭了,真是搬起石头砸了自己的脚。
4
还有," We should have lunch together sometime." 或者 "Let's get together again soon."都是结束对话的好方式。注意喽,这么说可不算是发出了一个确定的邀请。

谈了不少技巧,下面还是多给大家提供一些有用的邀约场景的小片段吧。希望大家从不同的情形,不同的应答中吸取有益的养分,做到快乐赴约或者轻松拒绝。

七个场景小对话:

1 喝点东西
--Would you be free to come over for a drink this afternoon?
--That's very nice of you. But I have already made other plans this afternoon. Another time perhaps.
2 野餐
--Jane and I would like you to join us for a picnic tomorrow.
--I'll have to take a rain check. I have an appointment with my adviser tomorrow.
3 野外烧烤
--John's having a barbecue this weekend. Would you like to come?
--How nice! I love barbeques. They're a lot of fun.
4 鸡尾酒会
--May I expect you at my cocktail party this Friday? Do drop in if you have time.
--I'm sure glad to, but this Friday is a problem. Maybe we can make it some other time.
5 聚餐
--We're having a potluck party at Pat's house. We'd love to have you join us.
--A potluck? That sounds great! What shall I bring along?
6 乔迁庆典
--Would you be able to come to our housewarming party this evening?
--I'd really love to. May I know your new address?
7 结婚纪念日庆典
--Are you free this Saturday evening? I'd like to invite you and your husband to come around for our wedding anniversary celebration.
--Thank you for your invitation. I'm sure I can come, but I'd like to ask my husband first.

佳人有约,这约会可千万别出什么差错。下一期,我们将会帮你搬走约会路上的一块大“石头”——迷路。下期再见!

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